16. TURNING DIRTY THIRTY

I feel like I should mention, just incase you couldn’t tell. I LOVE GIRAFFES ❤

I have been dreading turning 30. I think it is because when I was younger I had an idea of how life at 30 would be for me, and that was married, owning a house and with 2 to 3 children. Yes, I am married, and to a wonderful man at that, yes I own a house, but there is still an aching empty hole left where my children should be.

I wanted to be a young mum, and now all I can think is even if I have a baby in the next year, I will be at least 35 by the time they start school, I will be almost 50 by the time they finish school. I know that a lot of people do not think this is old, and on the whole, I don’t think this is old, but it isn’t what I had planned. That being said, it is the hand I have been dealt and I am starting to come to terms with that.

I turned 30, and given the state of the world at the moment, it was pretty epic. Ben surprised me the day before my birthday to a trip to London with a booking at the Shard and the best steak I have ever had, also the most expensive glass of wine I have ever had, but we wont talk about that.

On my birthday, I woke up early and excited, I opened all of my presents from Ben, and he had well and truly spoilt me rotten! What a guy! He had also, unknown to me, gotten all of my family and friends to send him videos of them and a birthday message, which he put together perfectly, it was so lush and yes I cried!

We were pretty tired from the previous days exploring of our countries capital, so we had a pretty chilled one during the day, I went to my Parents in the afternoon to open presents from them, one being a telescope which enabled me to look at my beloved moon ❤ that evening we went to my sisters (in a group of 6 Boris, pipe down!) and had a Chinese, which is my favourite. My sister and her husband bought me a Ted Baker handbag that I had wanted for ages but couldn’t justify buying it for myself ❤

On the Friday, I went for a meal and drinks with a group of friends (again under 6 people), the girls spoilt me rotten also with lots of lush presents. We had a lovely meal and lots of laughs, the table was decorated when we got there and they had organized a Colin the caterpillar cake.

On the Saturday, I was told by my Mum & Sister to be ready for 6pm and given no other details other than I would want to feel nice as I will want to take photos. 6 o’clock came and Ben & I were picked up and taken to my parents house, when I walked in I was greeted by the balloon display in the photo above and a table full of my favourite fancy foods & a two tier giraffe cake 🙂 It was just perfect. We had drinks, ate lovely food, took lots of photos and had a little dance just us girls ❤

I felt so overwhelmed throughout these days, not only with the generous gifts I had received, but with the love I felt. I have so many amazing people around me, and I spend so much time feeling down in the dumps and at times worthless. This just made me realize just how loved and cared for that I am. I was very emotional to say the least!

Big thanks to my wonderful Family and friends who made a lockdown birthday as amazing as it was – You guys are the best and I love you more than you’ll ever know.